Big Pharma’s bedroom eyes

Ladies, beware – Big Pharma is having sexual fantasies about you.

It’s not what you think… in fact, it’s even worse.

After seeing how erection meds like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra can add billions to the bottom line, Big Pharma suits have been dreaming up ways to sell a similar med to women – and now, they think they’ve stumbled upon it.

The drug is called flibanserin, and was designed to be an antidepressant. Just one problem… it didn’t work. But it did get some of the women who took it to feel, well, a little more willing to have sex than usual.

In Big Pharma’s world, no med’s a failure if you can find a side effect worth selling. And now, this med is being tested as a sex drug for women. In a recent trial, 2,000 women on this med for 24 weeks reported an increased number of satisfactory sexual encounters and a higher level of sexual desire.

The drug works like many antidepressants – even if it’s actually a complete failure as an antidepressant – and that’s in the brain. Drugs that alter brain chemistry should be used incredibly sparingly – if ever.

Already, this med has shown some pretty unromantic side effects, including headaches, fatigue, dizziness, nausea, diarrhea and urinary infections. Who knows what side effects long-term use would bring – but if this med ever gets approved, you’d do well to steer clear of it.

And gents, Big Pharma still has lustful eyes for you – or at least your wallet – with new and bizarre sex treatments in the works.

One is a spray – squirt it on the penis head, and it’s supposed to help you last longer, according to a study presented at the annual meeting of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America.

I’m sure it will – it’s a mix of two powerful anesthetics, lidocaine and prilocaine. You might last longer, but you’ll be lucky if you feel anything at all. And if you do, there’s a chance those sensations might include burning, itching and rashes – noted side effects of these drugs.

Meanwhile, Israeli researchers are testing shock therapy for erectile dysfunction. They’re literally shocking penises into arousal – and claim that 15 of the 20 men who’d been so stimulated showed significant improvement.

The researchers have developed a device that looks like a computer mouse, and use it to deliver jolts to five different spots on the penis. A report at LiveScience.com described the power as “20 times the air pressure in a bottle of champagne, but less than the pressure exerted by a woman in stiletto heels who weighs 132 lbs.”

Sounds like someone knows just a little too much about this.

But don’t worry. Truth is, you don’t need penis shocks, anesthetic sprays or female sex meds to create real sparks in the bedroom any more than you need erection drugs like Viagra.

For men, the key to great sex is a healthy circulatory system and overall fitness. Obesity, hypertension and diabetes can all play a role in sexual dysfunction – so if you suffer from any of those conditions, start by getting your body back into shape.

And for men and women alike, try some natural aphrodisiacs. A glass of wine and some dark chocolate can help set the mood better than any sex med.

They’re a lot more enjoyable, too.

Speaking of wine – keep reading for the latest on the protective powers of booze!