Scotland: Land of poor health

Maybe you think of Scottish people as a rowdy band of hard- living boozers.

Well, a new study finds that… actually, you’re pretty much dead-on, because Scots have some of the worst habits of any people on earth.

I know a few Scots who would repeat that with pride… but truth is, that also makes them some of the world’s most at- risk people, since the new study finds that a whopping 97.5 percent of them have at least one major risk factor for serious disease: smoking, heavy drinking, sedentary lifestyles, obesity or bad diet.

Another way of putting it: Just 2.5 percent of all Scots have no risk factors for serious disease.

The University of Glasgow study also found that many Scots have multiple bad habits. Eighty-six percent had at least two of those risk factors, 55 percent had three and 20 percent of them–one out of every five Scots–had all five major risk factors for disease and overall poor health.

Then again, what would you expect in a land with almost as many words and phrases to describe drunkenness as the Eskimos have for snow? If you’ve had a few too many in Scotland, they might say you’re blootered, guttered, stottin’, steamin’ or bevvied–along with a few expressions I can’t print here.

And whether it’s drinking, smoking or poor eating habits, the reality is that this study might only scratch the surface of the health problems in Scotland.

I know what you’re thinking: Is that even possible?

It is… because the study was based on a survey, and people tend to be a little dishonest on these things. Some people overstate their health, and more than a few can be expected to downplay their bad habits.

But those widespread bad habits come at a price–and in this case, it can be seen in their overall life expectancies. Scots live roughly two years less than their fellow citizens of the United Kingdom, which, in turn, is near the bottom of the European Union in terms of life expectancy–no doubt due in part to all those unhealthy Scots dragging their numbers down.

If this keeps up, that old patriotic song “Scotland the Brave” might be replaced by a funeral dirge.

They’ve already got the bagpipes.