I wouldn’t wish prostate surgery on my worst enemies.

Not only is it often completely unnecessary since prostate cancer isn’t nearly the killer it’s been made out to be — but the treatments themselves are often worse than the disease and come with more risks than your surgeon will ever let on.

And that’s true even if your surgeon happens to be made of metal.

Robot-assisted prostate surgeries have become all the rage in recent years, involved in up to 85 percent of all procedures in the United States.

But that’s not a triumph of technology so much as marketing: Many patients agree to them because they’ve been led to believe robo-surgeries are safer and better than traditional surgeries.

They’re not.

Researchers asked 600 Medicare patients who had undergone prostate surgery about their side effects, and a full 90 percent of them reported moderate to severe sexual dysfunction 14 months later.

It didn’t matter if they were among the 400 patients who got a robot-assisted procedure… or the 200 who got the traditional surgery. The results were the same either way.

And in both groups, about a third of the patients reported incontinence problems — with slightly more men in the robot group battling the leakage.

This isn’t some groundbreaking study, either. In fact, the research has been consistent: These high-tech procedures don’t lower the risks of side effects or even improve outcomes.

But while robots aren’t bringing better results to the OR, they’re delivering big on the balance sheet: Hospitals charge up to $2,000 more for robot-assisted surgeries.

They have to. The machines alone can cost several million dollars, not to mention training and maintenance fees.

Most hospitals have to take out loans to cover it all — and when you’ve got payment deadlines coming up, you’ve got extra pressure to make sure the machine starts bringing in cash the moment it’s plugged in.

That’s why hospitals that buy robots launch big, misleading ad campaigns — and that’s why studies have shown that facilities that get the machines begin doing more procedures almost overnight, even in areas where prostate surgeries in general are on the decline.

In a nutshell, that means hospitals and surgeons are aggressively pushing patients to not only get a surgery that research shows they don’t actually need, but a more expensive high-tech version of the procedure that doesn’t improve outcomes or even decrease the risk of side effects.

And people wonder why the healthcare system is a mess!

Exploitation — it’s the only word that comes to mind here.

Even as the mainstream moves away from routine cancer screenings for men and women alike, there’s one group of Americans that are still getting screened regularly for cancers that almost certainly won’t hurt them.

And that’s the elderly.

These are the people least likely to need treatment even if a cancer is detected — and least able to withstand the traumatic surgeries, dangerous drugs, and toxic chemotherapy often used to “treat” those cancers.

But the numbers don’t lie — and the newest numbers show that 57 percent of men between the ages of 75 and 79 were screened for prostate cancer, while 42 percent of men older than 80 were actually given PSA tests.

You have to wonder what the doctors are thinking here: They know these cancers can take decades to develop, decades an 80-year-old doesn’t have. They know that even younger men have nothing to worry about in most cases. They know that the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force recently recommended doing away with the PSA test altogether.

They know all this… yet they’re screening anyway, and not just men.

The same study in the Archives of Internal Medicine found that 62 percent of women between the ages of 75 and 79, and 50 percent of women older than 80 have been given mammograms over the past two years.

And if PSA exams are useless for men, mammograms are every bit as useless for women — so useless that even mainstream docs are backing away from them.

That’s because all the mammograms in the world have barely made a dent in the breast cancer death rate. These screenings have succeeded in finding harmless cancers, which then end up being treated with disfiguring surgeries and dangerous radiation.

Similarly, the study also found that 53 percent of women between 75 and 79 and 38 percent of those older than 80 were given pap smears to test for cervical cancer.

It’s ridiculous — and even the mainstream groups that normally back most cancer screenings agree. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends ending pap smears as early as 65, while the American Cancer Society says there’s no benefit after the age of 70.

In reality, many of these screenings have no benefit at any age. But for seniors, many of whom are already fighting health issues, these screenings, biopsies, and inevitable cancer treatments can turn the golden years into a living nightmare.

Skip ‘em — because in this case, what you don’t know almost certainly won’t hurt you.

Surgery is supposed to be the ultimate shortcut when it comes to weight loss: Let the doc put you under, and when you wake up you’re on your way to a brand-new body.

If only it were that simple.

Now, the FDA is finally starting to crack down on the companies that promote one of the most common weight-loss procedures, the adjustable Lap Band that squeezes the stomach so you can fit less in it.

When your stomach holds less, you eat less… and when you eat less, you lose weight.

For many people, that’s all they need to hear. If their insurance covers it, they’re on their way to a new life that’s a lot more difficult than any of them ever would have guessed.

That’s because while the billboards and TV ads promise quick and easy weight loss, they don’t really talk about risks. And they barely even mention that this is a major surgery with serious side effects, up to and including death.

In some cases, the Lap-Band needs to be adjusted. Some patients need two or more surgeries before it’s on right, and they face the risks of complications each time they go under the knife.

Once the band is in place, patients often experience difficulty swallowing, severe and miserable heartburn, and nausea.

Although the FDA’s recent warning was specifically directed at a series of clinics offering Lap-Band in Southern California, those warnings could have been directed at clinics across the country. Because no matter where you live, odds are you’ve seen signs and heard ads that conveniently leave out those very real risks.

And believe it or not, this is actually one of the “safer” forms of weight-loss surgery. Other procedures, such as gastric bypass, promise more dramatic results — but come with even more risks, including an even higher risk of death than the Lap-Band.

So forget surgery. You can do a better job on your own anyway — and as I told you a couple of weeks ago, it starts with just two days a week of an easy-to-follow low-carb diet. (Read about it here.)

Start with two days a week — but don’t end there. Turn that two-day lifestyle into an everyday habit, and you’ll lose weight the right way… and enjoy all the benefits of a thin, new you without the risks of surgery.

Supposedly cutting-edge procedures like the brain stent I just mentioned won’t lower your risk of stroke — and they might even kill you.

But you don’t have to turn to risky surgery or unproven meds to keep a stroke at bay: A new study finds all you might really need is more of the foods you already enjoy.

And no, it’s not candy and cake (nice try, though).

Dutch researchers tracked the eating habits of nearly 21,000 people with an average age of 41 and no signs of heart disease at the start of the 10-year study.

During that time, 233 people suffered a stroke — with the volunteers who ate the most white fruits and vegetables (think apples, pears, and bananas) 52 percent less likely to be among them.

Even those who ate just a little got a benefit: The researchers wrote in Stroke: Journal of the American Heart Association that just a few slices of apple a day, for example, can lower the risk by 9 percent.

Along with apples, pears and bananas, the researchers say white fruits and vegetables include cauliflower, chicory, and cucumbers — but not potatoes. Those are actually a starch, and — let’s face it — you shouldn’t be eating them anyway (especially if they come from any place that has a big golden M on the sign).

The catch here is that the study was based on the least reliable form of science: the food frequency questionnaire. In other words, let’s file this one under “interesting” but not something you need to start planting an apple orchard for.

The study also didn’t show why these fruits and vegetables might be able to slash the risk of stroke — but the smart money is on the terrific antioxidant flavonoids such as quercetin, the pigment that helps turn apples red (and gives even green pears those red patches you so often see).

Along with other bioflavonoids — including the lutein and zeaxanthin also found in apple and pear skins — quercetin may help protect your heart and even lower your risk of cancer.

If you’re not eating an apple, pear or banana every day, you can get these and other great nutrients from a high-quality bioflavonoid supplement.